Sunday, August 3, 2008

My eyelashes fought me to the death this morning.
Sun streaming through the window in the bedroom I fell
asleep in last night, a hungover former love awoke me.
His alcohol-stained breath rose from my arm to my throat,
his gravelly voice muttering my name.
I rolled away from him, pulling blankets over my head.

Falling out of love has always been a fear of mine, you see.
I am terrified of being alone, of not having someone to lean on.
As college begins this fall, I will rely on him for only his understanding.
We have lost what we had, and that is okay with me this time around.
I held on far too long, these past few years.
His soft, deep voice no longer causes my limbs to shiver.
His clear eyes no longer lock mine in the same way.
My heart no longer beats in time with his.

For the first time in my life, I feel okay.

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